Evening Star
by DimitriRBelikov
Summary: Rose is that innocent girl that every boy wants. The thing is, she dosen't want any boy, she wants that special boy. But will she accept him the way he is or will she try to change him? Will she destroy him for good?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, enjoy this story.**

**:)**

**-x-**

Have you ever felt empty? Like you must be filled by something, but you don't know what? Like this I feel right now. It's 11 PM and I'm walking through a park, all alone. Don't get me wrong, I have a family. They adopted me, but still, I have a family that loves me. And I love them too.

My true parents died 2 years ago, in a car crush. I was 15 back then. Also Andre, my best friend's brother died 2 years ago. Lissa's parents decided to adopt me to fill that empty space Andre left behind. I'm happy in this family, but I need something else...

I don't know why I'm walking through this park at this hour. I just wanted to get away with my thoughts and I didn't noticed where I was walking. I sat down and lied on the ground. I love to watch the sky, mostly I love to see 'The Evening Star' rise. This star shine so lovely. It is the brightest star in the sky. I could watch this star forever. It's like, I feel connected with this star.

Back to my empty soul... I still need that something or someone. I still wait... I'm Rose Hataway, the most wanted girl in the high school. Every boy wants me, well, they want to get in my pants. I won't allow them. I'm an innocent girl, bithces call me "geek" just because I have only A at school and I'm not joking, I'm the best student our high school ever had. But I don't care, I accept the way I am.

I never had a boyfriend. There is Adrian that wants me so bad. He is nice, gentle and funny, but I don't feel like I belong to him. He is just a good friend. One of my best friends, actually. I'm waiting for someone else, but who... ?

"Lovely night, isn't it?" said a stranger that lied on the grass next to me. I didn't answerd but, I didn't felt in danger ... I actually felt safe that he was here. Who is this man?

"Yeah... it is." And silence. We didn't spoke for long. I don't know what time is it but I don't care. I feel like I could stay here forever, with him...

"Aren't you scared?" he asked

"Should I?" I answerd with another question.

"No." And I smiled. We said nothing till we saw the sun rising. God, how much did I sat here? It's morning? I bet Lissa freaked out.

"I have to go." He said and got up.

"But I don't know your name." But he was already gone. Like the wind. Will I ever see him again? I know I just met him and I don't know his name... but, I badly want to see him again. To get to know him. I want to feel him... God, Rose, stop thinking like this. You never wanted a boy before.

"But he is a man." I added to myself. I got up and made my way home. I know I'm in troube, but thanks God today is Saturday.

When I entred the house Rhea smiled and hugged me. Isn't she angry because I wasn't home last night?

"How was your night, Rose?"

"Good, just a little tired." I answerd her. Ok... I'm lost. What happened here and why isn't she angry at me? I wasn't home all night, for God's sake.

"I belive you." She said.

"Ok." Was all I managed to say.

"Come and eat breakfast and than you can go take some sleep."

"Sure."

"I'm proud of you, you know that Rose." Ok, I was no where last night, she had no ideea where and she is proud of ? How does is comes?

"Rhea, aren't you mad at me?"

"No, why should I?"

"Rose, your home. How was at Mia's? Did you guys studied for the test paper?" Lissa said as she came down staires. "I missed you. I had to study with Christian and you know how smart he is. I think I forgat the little I knew." We all started to laugh and in the end Rhea left us alone.

"Lissa, what happened?"

"What happened? I lied for you to mom. Where have you been all night? I was warried, I called you but your phone was home. Fuck Rose, you scared me."

"Sorry Lissa. I was in the park, watching the stars and I think I slept there. Sorry again." I told her about that man, she had to know, ske knows everything about me.

"Do you want to meet him again?" she asked.

"Of course I want to, Lissa. But I don't know how. I don't even know his name."

"You can go again tonight. Perhaps he will be there also." This sound like a good plan to me. " I'll lie again for you to mom." She added.

"Thank you, Lissa. You are the best friend in the while world, you know that?"

"You told me severel time. But I like to hear it often." And she smiled.

"Well, you will."

"Hope so."

**-x-**

Here I am, again, wolking through the same park at the same hour as last night. Please be here, please be here. I mentaly added to myself. I went to the same place as last night and... he was there, right there, watching for the Evening Star to rise. I bet he loves that star as mush as I do. I sat next to him and said nothing. I waited for him to break the silence.

"Here again?" he asked.

"I love this place." I said and I looked at him. But he didn't. I don't think that he looked at me last night, at all. Not even once.

"Me too."

"Yeah, I come here every night." Well, this is a lie, last night was the first time. But he won't know.

"No, you don't." What?

"Escuse me?"

"I come here every night and I never saw you before but last night." God, I wanna die right now. Because I wanted to change the subject I asked:

"What's your name?"

"Dimitri, yours?" what a beautiful name. A perfect name for a perfect man.

"I'm Rose, nice to meet you, Dimitri."

"Me too."

We spoke that night a lot. I know that his full name is Dimitri Belikov, he is from Russia and has 24 years. I noticed that he has deep brown eyes and long hair. Dark, but not as dark as mine. He likes to read westarn books and listen old music. He is something unique. That someone I was waithing for, that someone that have to fill me up. But what if he dosen't feel the same? Yeah, I'm just a stupis kid, God Rose, think, he is a man. What do you think he can see in you?

"Why did you moved to America?" I asked out of no where.

"Some family problems. I don't really want to talk about it. Hope you don't mind." Seeing that this is something important to him I let got he subject. I don't want to scare him away.

Just before the sun rise he got up.

"I have to go. Sorry." He said and started to wolk away.

"Wait! Will I see you again?"

"If you want to, you will." He smiled and left. He has a beautiful smile that words can't describe. I got up and made my way home.

"I hope to see you again." I said to myself, because he was long gone. But I don't know when. Today is Sunday and tomorrow I have school. I want to be able to come and spend all night here, knowing that he will be here. Suddnely I got sad at the ideea that maybe I won't see him again. Till I got home his wards kept playing in my head 'if you want to, you will'. Well, I want to.

Monday, school day. I haven't seen Dimitri last night and I miss him so much. How is this possible to miss someone that you just met? We haven't touched at all, but hell, I want to feel his soft skin on mine. I dreamt about him every night since I met him. I dreamt about those eyes that conquerd my heart from the very first glance. I like him a lot and I'm scared to really fall for him. I'm awear that I'm just some stupid kid, he won't look at me with the same eyes I look at him.

"Hey Rose, why so sad?"

"I'm not sad, Adrian. I'm just tired." I said to him. He is one of my best friends and I love him, but I would never be able to love him as my boyfriend. There is only one man that I want and his name is not Adrian.

"But what did you do last night?"

"I tried to get some sleep but my mind was anywhere but in my head." Actually I thought about Dimitri, how would his skin feel on mine, his lips on mine. In the few minutes I slept I dreamt about him , I write his name everywhere. I can't help but feel stupid. I don't think that he feels the same. I bet he has a girlfriend.

"Why so?"

"Adrian, please, I don't want to talk about it." I yelled at him

"Ok, I'm sorry."

"No, No, I'm sorry for yelling at you. You don't deserve it." And I took one of his hand in both of mine.

"Rose, have you thought about what I told you last Friday?"

"Yes I did, and my answer is... no. I'm sorry." Now more than ever I won't go out with him. Dimitri is everywhere, my head, my heart... I want him to be the one for me.

"Why? He asked and took his hand from mine.

"Adrian, I'm not for you like you are not for me. we are ment to be just friends. Actually I feel sorry for him. Is not in my intentions to beark his heart. All over again.

"How can you be so sure if you never gave me a chance."

"I'm not Adrian, but..." and I couldn't find the perfect words. I care to much about him to make him suffer because of me.

"Look, give me this Friday to show you how I really feel and than you chose. Ok?" I know I should give him at least that... but I can't. Not when I think about the man from the park.

"I..." but he stoped me. He came near me and took my face in his hands looking right into my eyes. I could see that he is really hurt but what am I supposed to do? I need to be selfish, so be strong Rose.

"Just Friday night." He said. He wanted to fill that little space between us by kissing me. In the last second I tuned my head and he let go of me.

"Adrian I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you said that before. Keep it for who wants to hear it." And he left. God, I really hurt him right now.

**-x-**

It was my turn to take the garbage out. well, actually it was Lissa's turn, but because she lied for me to Rhea, I promissed to do some of her work. I even chat for her in history class. I never do that. In my entire life.

This day was a good one. Even if Dimitri was in my head every second, I had a good day. I managed to break Adrian's heart, I and Mason took an A at math and Lissa and Christian took them first B at biology.

I smiled when I saw a shadow behind me. I know this is Dimitri, so I turned to face him.

"Missed me?" I asked trying to make conversation.

"A lot." He answerd.

"Well... hello." So lame, Rose, so lame. You could do better.

"What about you, did you missed me?" hell yeah.

"Yeah... I did. I missed you too." And I smiled at him, or I think I tried to flirt, I don't know. I've never done something like this. But I gave him my innocent smile.

"Your turn to throw the garbage?"

"Yeah, kind of." I realised that there is nothing we can talk about. We said all we had to say Saturday night. Should I tell him what I feel for him? This way I would know if he fels the same. If he don't, I will just wolk away.

"So Rose, I wanted to tell you something, but..."

"No, me first." He nodded so I continued. "I kind of feel something... when you are here, I feel... I want you always here , I just can't get you out of my mind. Call me crazy but I think I have feeling for you." And I said it. Now I just have to wait for him to ran away.

"I feel the same way, but this is not right." I don't know why but I look at his hand. He had no ring that could keep him away from me. Why is this not right? I want him , he wants me... Why can't we be togheter? We know each other just for 3 days, but I feel like he is the one I was waiting for. For some reason he smiled, an innocent smile, a smile that conquerd me for good.

"Why?" I managed to ask.

"Because you will ran away when you will descover the real me."

"I won't." I filled the space between us, wrapped my hand around his neck and kissed him.

**-x-**

**So, this is the first chapter, please tell me if I should stop it or go on. If this could be a good story.**

**I know that things go fast but I want it to be a short story, like 10 chapters. Just a short story about Rose and Dimitri, because I noticed that you don't like when Dimitri is not in the story.**

**You all love Dimitri and I love him too. **

**Please review and tell me what you think.**

**Im waiting.**

**Lot of love**

**Paula.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey.. I jsut came backfrom the doctor and I thought that maybe it's time to updat...here you go.**

**Love you guys. **

**I'm really trying to do a good job here, so please tell me what you would like to read here and is there is something you don't like. I realy care about what you say.**

**-x- **

It passed a week since I kissed Dimitri and since I seen him last. Every day seems like a whole year. Evey second seems like a day... Where is he and why isn't he coming to me?

The truth is, I haven't been to that park all week, but I was stuck with my homework. But is not like he can't come to my window and throw some pebble in. He dosen't care, maybe that kiss was nothing to him and he just palyed me. He used those beautiful words to conquer me and than leave. It is not right, and hell, I won't care, no more. No more.

It's Monday again and I can't pay any atention to the teachers. They are talking they own language and I am thinking at my own language.

"Hey Rose, do you want to call dad to pick us?"

"If you want to, but I rather take a walk." I say to Lissa. She has been next to me all week. She is the only one that knows my whole world has turned upside down.

"You know, it is a great ideea. I need a walk too."

"Why? Did you and Christian had a fight?"

"No, we are good, but... even if he is next to me I feel like he is miles away. I don't know why. He alwyas makes me smile, make me feel real." Well, maybe I'm not the ony one with problems in this world. Because of Dimitri I forgat about Lissa and her problems. We have been always there for each other and now, that my world broke because of a stranger, I totaly forgat to worry about her.

"Do you think he is chating on you?"

"What, no, no,no. God, no."

"Than what's the problem?"

"The thing is, he closed himself up, he dosen't let me in, it's like we are togeter but not really."

"Sorry Lissa, but I haven't understood a word you said." And the truth is, I haven't. It'l like she talks but I can't understand anything. And is not because I'm thinking about Dimitri, is because of her way of talking.

"He has some problems but he does not share it with me."

"And that is a problem?"

"You can't understand Rose, you have never been in love." And this really hurt me. No, maybe I have never been in love, but hell, I know how is it when you can't understand the person you ... love? No, I don't love him... I can't. He dosen't give a fuck for me. I can't understand how can I care so much about a person that dosen't give a fuck for me. I feel like all my life has gone insane because of this man. If he would be here, in front of me, I would kill him for turning my normal life in this madness.

"You are right, Lissa. I don't."

"I didn't meant it, you know Rose."

"I don't know. I know you love me and you would never do something to hurt me." But actualy she did, she did hurt me.

"You know, why don't you go to that park tonight and talk with him?"

"No."

"Yes, you will. Go and end this suffering. " maybe she is right. I can't go on like this.

"You know what. I will, hell, I will."

And I did. Here I am, in the same place we first met. He said he is always coming here, so tonight he will be here too. Or at least I hope so. I slowly close my eyes and let the imagination take me.

I am in my old house, in the house I used to live with my parents. I look at the door and see Dimitri coming in.

'Hey love, how was your day?' he says and I look at him but can't say a word. It feels real. So real. Like this is my life.

'Good.' I manage to say, but not very loud.

'Are you sure? You look bad.'

'Awww, thanks honey, I feel the love.'I say. Where came it from? It's like I can't control my mouth. God, I'm sleeping but why I can't wake up. Something is keeping me here.

'I'm not kidding. Are you sick?' he asks. I don't answer. All I need is to wake up. Why can't I?

'I'm just glad you are back.' And I hug him. Ok, now I can't control my mouth and my body. It's like I'm controled by someone but it dosen't affect my mind. WAKE UP ROSE, WAKE UP. But nothing happen. I'm still in Dimitri's arms.

'Now I'm here. Let me see that beautiful smile of yours.' He says. And now I'm smiling.

'How was your day?' why I keep asking if I don't mean it? Please mind, just take control over this.

'Good, but I missed you every second.' He said and I smile. I swear, I'm going to punch myself if I won't stop it. It makes me go insane, if I'm not already.

'No more than me.' Just shut up, Rose! Why can't I close my mouth?

'Come here!' he opens his arms and my feets go right there. Well, at least is not something I don't want. Those arms will look really good around me.

'You look tired.' I said

'I am.'

'Ok than, let's go eat somethig and than we can go and sleep.' I say pullying him after me in the ktichen.

'Ummm, you made black bread, my favorite.' He says. Now I know how to cook. Sure this is a dream, I don't know how to cook. But why can't I wake up?

'That's why I made it.' And black bread? What the hell is this black bread? I never heard of it, so there in no posibility to make something like this.

'You are the best, you know that?' he says

'You told me once or twice.' We ate and he told me how was his day. He haven't said a setance without remembering me how much he missed me. I know that this all is in my mind but I don't know why I feel like I'm trapped here. But also I feel like this is a perfect world where I could live happily.

I start to think that this, maybe is the life I want. A beautiful life with Dimitri.

'Rose, have you thought about what I asked you this morning?'he asks. I don't know what he asked me this morning so I don't know what my answer should be.

'Ummmm, no.'

'Why?'

'I don't know Dim-' and I stopped. Maybe his name is not Dimitri in this world.

'Why did you stopped?'

'No reason, no reason.'

'Ok.' And he let go the subject.

'Please don't get mad.' I take his hand in mine and he smiles.

'I love you, Rose.' He says. Love? Wow, I really like this dream. If this is a dream.

'Just kiss me.' And he kisses me. I kiss him back. It is rough, like we are hungry for each other. I close my eyes and let the moment take me. He caress my back with one hand and put the other in my hair. I wrap my arms around his neck to keep him close to me. God, I want this to happen every day. We depend the kiss and then I open my eyes to see... Adrian?

"Hey Rose, are you ok?" he asks.

"Ummm, what?"

"Were you sleeping?" was I? It all felt so real.

"I guess so." I say.

"Why are you here?" he asks but I don't answer and I put my fingers on my lips. I still feel Dimitri lips on mine. Like we just kissed.

"Do you want me to take you home?" he asks. Do I?

"Ummm, no, I wanna stay here." I answer to him. We are looking in each other eyes and he taked my hand in his.

"Do you feel sick?"

"No Adrian, I'm perfectly fine. Don't need to worry."

"Well I do. It 11 PM and you are here all alone." And with that I remember why I'm here. I need to talk to Dimitri.

"I'm good Adrian, you can go now."

"No, I'm not leaving you here." He says. No Adrian, go. Dimitri won't come if he sees you here. What can I do to make him leave?

"Please just go!."

"Why are you here?" really, I'm begging him to leave and he act like he didn't heard me?

"Because I needed to get away, me with my thoughts."

"Why have you been so sad these day Rose? It breaks me to see you like this." And it breaks me to hear him talking like that. No Adrian, forget me. Really, if I can delete all the memories he has with me I will. I want him to be happy, truly happy, but not with me.

"Don't talk like this."

"But it's true. I want to see you smiling, like you used to."

"It's not like-"

"Let me be the one who's making you happy." And here we go again.

"Look Adrian, I really want you to be the one who's making me smile again, I really want you to be the other half of me, but you are not."

"Just give yourself to me." now he is caressing my face with his fingers. He close the space between us and thouch my nouse with his.

"Adrian I-"

"Just think how happy we can be togeter." And he kisses me. I kiss him back because I feel like I owe him this. He takes my face in his hands, pulling me closer to him. I want this thing to end but he apparently don't thinks like me. After all I pull back.

"This is not right, Adrian."

"Why?"

"Because I don't feel the same." I don't want to hurt him again, I don't want to see him again suffering because of me. I love him so much as I'd give my life for him, but I can't be more than his friend.

"This kiss told me something else."

"No, you understood something else." Seeing that Dimitri didn't showed up, I get up. I want to leave and not think about what just happened.

"I'm sorry." He yells behind me. I turn to face him.

"No, your not. You waited for this moment, don't lie."

"Yeah your right, I waited for this moment for a long, long time, but you know what? I didn't enjoyed this at all." He just said what? He pulls himself up to come closer.

"Why?"

"Because you didn't wanted this. Because I forced you into this."

"Yeah you are right, I didn't wanted this. And you know why? Because it is not right Adrian, and you know it."

"Why can't you just love me?" and this words are like a stake in my heart. Why I can't love him? This is a good question? Way can't I love him? Everything would be so easy if I let myself love him.

"Because I can't." I close the space between us and now I take his face im my hands. "Look Adrian, I love you, so, so much, but just as a friend. I swear, I would give my life for you, but I just can't feel the same way as you. Please understand. I don't want to break your heart like this everytime you come near me. I wanna see you happy, in love, but not with me." I kiss his check and let him standing there. God, Adrian deserves something better than me. I can't help but feel like a bitch, just because I can't love him.

Walking home, suddenly I feel sick. Because I don't want to fall down, I sit on the ground. I close my eyes and when I open them I see Dimitri standinding front of me, smiling.

'Are you feeling alright?' he asks. It feels again like the dream I just had. Everything is here but my mind don't.

'Yeah baby, I'm feeling alright. Don't worry so much about me.' This dream is different from the dream that I had earlier. We're both in a meadow full of flowers and trees in bloom. The sun shines so hard that I can not look at him. Everything seems so real but my mind says it's a dream. I'm stuck here and can not escape.

'I'm glad, come on, let's sit on that banch.' He says pulling me after him. In the previous dream we were what seemed like a married couple for many years, as that was the life we both wanted to be a part of. In this dream, we are like a couple of teenagers who love each other.

'It's so beautiful here.' I say

'Like you, my love.'

'It feels like a dream to me.' Why I said that? It dosen't seems a dream,it is a dream. What I do not understand is why my mind is trying to pull me in reality. I know it's a dream but I can not wake up. It's not normal, not normal to feel that way.

'You feel like a dream to me.' He says. At least I'm not lonly in this crazy dream.

'Look Dimitri, I feel so good here with you, so right but something is pushing me out of this dream. It's like I know it's a dream- and something - ' and suddnely I wake up.

What's happening to me?

I get up and heading home. I'm beginning to get sick. These dreams, which come and go as in anything are not normal. I do not feel like myself.

I came in the park to talk to Dimitri, but he seems to have forgotten me. Since I met him nothing seems normal in my life.

The only thing I have to do now is to forget it, forget that I ever met him,to I forget I kissed him, forget his existence.

-x-

**Hey, I hope this chapter is better than the last one. I really wish for this story to be a good one, a story that you guys really like.**

**I told you that I want to make from this story a short one, so this is one of the reasons why things go so fast. And I'm sorry, really sorry for my grammar mistakes. Really sorry.**

**Thank you for all the reviews and thanks to all of you for reading my story.**

**And by the way, what do you think is happening to Rose? is she going insane? Tell me what you think.**

**See you next time.**

**Lot of love**

**Paula**

**Evening star**

**There was, as in the fairy tales, **

**As ne'er in the time's raid, **

**There was, of famous royal blood **

**A most beautiful maid. **

**She was her parents' only child, **

**Bright like the sun at noon, **

**Like the Virgin midst the saints **

**And among stars the moon. **

**From the deep shadow of the vaults **

**Her step now she directs **

**Toward a window; at its nook **

**Bright Evening-star expects. **

**She looks as in the distant seas **

**He rises, darts his rays **

**And leads the blackish, loaded ships **

**On the wet, moving, ways. **

**To look at him every night **

**Her soul her instincts spur; **

**And as he looks at her for weeks **

**He falls in love with her. **

**And as on her elbows she leans **

**Her temple and her whim **

**She feels in her heart and soul that **

**She falls in love with him. **

**And ev'ry night his stormy flames **

**More stormily renew **

**When in the shadow of the castle **

**She shows to his bright view. ...to be continued.**

**This poetry is called "Evening Star" and it's written by Mihai Eminescu, one of the best poet from Romania. Translated in my language it is "Luceafarul". Here it's just a part from the poetry. This work has 98 stanzzas and it's way too beautiful. I'll post all the poetry, little by little. I hope you like it. I surly do. **

**Please tell me what you think about the begining of this poetry but also about my work. Please tell me if you want the next chapter. **

**Love you all.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey... again, I just came back from the doctor and I feel like updating.. so here you go...**

**Almost 4 years ago some doctor told me that I have serious problems with my kidney and since than, guess what? That doctor is my BFF. **

**ANYWAY, I hope that you all are OK, healty and happy. **

**How are ya? Here is Easter hloiday. There?**

It's dark and some lips kisses me down my chest. I put my hands in his hair and pull him up to my lips. We kiss rough like our lives depend on it. His hand are everywhere on my body and my hand are wrap around his neck. It feels right but wrong at the same time. He is on top of me, loving me like there is no tomorrow.

His lips are warm. He kisses me carefully, nibbling and sucking my lower lip. Drawing the tip of my tongue along the inner edge of his mouth, he groaned and pulls me in so tight, I can barely breathe. Thrusting my fingers into his hair, I press my tongue into his mouth, cautiously, tracing over the hard palate just behind his teeth while wrapping my arms and legs around him. He put one hand at the back of my neck, directing me, and with the other one he touches one of my breast.

He pulls the zipper down slowly, watching me and I see that that man is Dimitri. I froze, what's happening to me?

Staring down at me, he touch my lower lip with his thumb. My jeans slid down my legs and he throw them aside, pulling out of his shirt and removing his jeans. I want to scream 'stop' but my moths is lock up. He settle between my legs and I try to scream again but, of course I fail.

He plung inside me and I scream, this time, hearing my voice. I close my eyes and when I open it all I see it's... darkness. I'm in my room and I think it's 3PM. I'm all sweaty . These dreams just scare the shit out of me.

I climb out of bed making my way to the kicthen. I drink a glass of water, trying to calm down. I'm ganna lose my mind, and soon, if I keep like this.

What's happening to you Rose? But I couldn't find an answer. I'm clueless.

I need to find Dimitri and figure out why I have all these dreams.

-x-

It's Tuesday and I'm sitting under a tree staring at the grass. I haven't told Lissa about this dreams . I don't know why but I'm sure she'll say that I'm only obsessed with Dimitri. The truth is... I don't know what I feel for him. I don't know where is he and I don't know what to do to talk with him. It's like he disappered.

"Rose, there is something really wrong with you and you are ganna tell me what. Right now." Says Lissa who is sitting beside me.

"No, it's just your imagination."

"Rose, I know you since forever and I can tell when there is something wrong. So please, don't do it. Not you too." And I remember that she have these problems with Christian.

"Adrian kissed me yesterday."

"What? When? " she seems very angry. I konw she never liked Adrian, but if there is a person that should kill him for this, that person should be me... or Dimitri.

"Last night, when I was waiting for Dimitri in the park."

"Oh, by the way? How was it? Did you two talked?" she asks me, smiling. I can read on her face that she wants the best for me. She wants to see me happy, and hell, I want this too, for hre. I wanna see she and Sparky happily ever after.

"No, he didn't showed up." I answer her, very sad. The dream I had last night is playing in my head and I just can't think of something else. It felt so real, so true. Should I tell Lissa about this strange dreams that comes and goes out of no where? I don't know. It just feel creepy.

"Wow, I- I don't know what to say to that." she says with her eyes full of sadness. God, this girl loves me more than I ever imagined.

"Yeah, well, he dosen't care, why should I care. I'll just let it all go and ... and maybe one day I'll fall in love with someone that want me ,too." I stare at the sky, not really thinking about something in general. It feels like I'm not here and no where else. Well, Lissa's voice brings me back to reality.

"Wait, did you just said that Adrian Kissed you last night?" she asks.

"Yeah. I said so."

"Have you thought that maybe he saw you and Adrian kissing and that's why he didn't showed up?" ok, she has a point. Maybe she is right and I'm the one that keeps him away.

"Maybe you are right but it dosen't change anything."

"How does it not change anything? God Rose, he maybe saw you kissing with someone else and this doesn't change anything? My dear, you are really blind." And with every word that comes out of her mouth, hurts me even more. Can't she just shut up?

"He had a whole week to come to me and he didn't moved one finger to find me. Well, guess what Lissa, I don't give a fuck. I don't care, no more. He can go fuck himself because me, Rose Hatway, don't give a fucking rainbow." Gosh, feels so good to scream out loud all I kept inside in the last few days.

"Maybe all this week he waited for you at that place, and seeing that you didn't showed up, maybe he just gave up. Maybe in his head he is the victim and you are the player."

"You think so?" I ask.

"I know so." She seems so sure and I'm the one with a broken heart. It is not faire, she is my best friend, she is supposed to be on my side. I will never understand her. She is in and than she is out. She looks like an angel with her long blond hair, big green eyes and that waith dress she is wering, but deep inside, she is a devil. She can turn into a ripper when it comes to defend the persons she loves. She is something unique and Christian is so lucky to have her. Anyone would be.

"You seem so sure."

"Go again Rose, tonight. Go again to that place. Wait for him and pray to God that Adrian won't show up." She says taking my hand in hers.

"No." I say sure on myself.

"You just give up so easy Rose. How do you expect to fall in love if you don't fight for it?" I want to answer her, but she keeps going. "I'm going to history class, you better think about what we just talked because you, you are not Rose Hatway, the Rose I know and I love. You turned her into this monster that can't help herself in need." And she leaves me here. She is right in so many ways, God she is fighting for me when I don't. I guess I'll do as she said. If I don't fight for what I want, than who else?

-x-

Now I'm siting on my bed with the picture of my parents in my hands. God, I miss them so much. Everything would be so easy if they were here. They always knew what to say when I had a problem.

I remember that last night, when I was coming home from that damn park, I had this feeling that some shadow was following me. Last night I wasn't scared, but whan I was 12 years old, I remember that I had the same feeling. I remember that I started to run and scream like I never did before. I don't know if that was real, but hell, I can swear that back than, a pair of eyes was following me.

**FLASHBACK**

I'm running so fast, I need to get home. Someone, some shadow is following me and I'm so scared. I need my daddy, I need to hear him telling me that everything is alright and that mon is taking care of me through the night. I'm running and running and my home seems 1000 miles away. I feel my heart expoding inside my chest and I can barely breath. I feel like I would pass out any second.

As I run, I can see daddy in standing front of the house waiting for me with open arms.

"Hey sweety, what's wrong?"

"Someone is following me. There!" and I show him the tree front of the house. Suddenly I can't see the shadow. It's like my daddy killed it.

"Thank you, daddy." I say jumping in his arms. I know I'm too big for it, but I don't care. In my daddy's arms is the place where I feel safe and sound.

"Come on, sweety, mommy is waiting inside." He takes my hand and I follow him. "Why did you came alone?" he added.

"Because I wanted to be brave. Because I wanted to show you and to Lissa's dad that I'm not afraid of darkness." I try to explain but all he do is laugh. "this is not funny, dad."

"My princess, but you are too little to be brave. It's my job to defend you from evil." I close my eyes and smile.

"And than, when I'll be too big to live with you? Who would defend me?" I ask.

"Well, till than you will meet a special boy who will defend you from eveil." A boy ?

"It smels delicious." I say as I enter the house. I just want to change the subject.

"Hello , Rose." says my mom while kissing my cheek.

"What's for dinner?" I ask mom.

"Surprise. Go up staiers and take a shower and than we can eat."

"Yes mommy."

After we ate we stand on the couch watching TV and eating popcorn. It's one of our favorite activites.

"Mom, what's love?" I ask mom, looking her into the eyes.

"What do you mean honey?"

"What's happening when you meet your half, your mate soul?" I ask her this question because I saw it in some movie. There were two teenagers, kissing and swearing them love to each other.

"Why do you ask this question?" she answers with another question.

"Because I wanna know when I'll meet my soul mate." I answer her, smiling.

"The other half of you, your soul mate, will be that one boy that will make your heart beat so fast, that you will think you are ganna die. You don't have to look for him, he will come to you. You will know that he is the one because you will want to be near him all the time." She says and my flashbak disappers.

**END OF FLASHBACK**

Back than, I thought that all mom said was nothing but bullshit. But now, God, her words were so true. I'm so sad 'cuz she is not here, that she can't tell me what to do.

"I miss you so much mommy and daddy." And I kiss the picture I have in my hands.

Feeling that need to visit my parents, I make my way to the cemeterie. I feel fine there and it's like I can talk to tham. There are moments when I really feel tham answers.

"Hey mommy, daddy. How are you today? I miss you more and more. Why did you had to go and leave me here alone? I need you, I call you, but you never answer." I say as I sat down on the cold ground of tham grave. I let some tears fall down and contine my speech.

"Mom, I think I fell in love and it's not as easy as you said. It hurts and hurts a lot. those feelings I keep inside are so strong, it's like a knife in my heart. Mom, I know you hear me so, please, please, help me. I need to get ride of these feelings. This boy does nothing but hurt me. I thought that when you love, you will do anything for that person. If this is true than why isn't he here? Why am I alone and why he dosen't care about me? I've always wanted my soul mate not an hangman. Please free my soul." I can't speek no more, so I lie on the ground as I feel a dream taking me to it's world.

When I open my eyes I see Dimitri, looking down at me, very, very sad. He comes closer, siting beside me.

'It hurts me to see you so sad.' He says, taking my hand in his.

'Why? It's not like you care?' I answer. This is not like the other dreams I had. My body and mind are here, working like one. I'm not scared, for once, I feel in peace.

'Of course I care Rose, a lot.'

'Don't lie to me. If this is true than why haven't you come to me? Why did you just kissed me and than left?' he does not answer, just look in my eyes. It's like he lookes for the right words, but can't find them.

'I care about you Rose, and a lot. But I just can't come into you world and destroy you. You are too precious for me, for this world, to destroy you...'

'Why do you say it?' he looks hurt too, not just me.

'I know you Rose, and I can't allow it.'

'You know nothing about me, Dimitri, nothing.' I shouted at him. He just met me, he can't say such things.

'Yes, I know.'

'What? Tell me what you know about me!' I ask him. 'You claim to know so much about me, so tell me! What? What do you know?' I say, half yelling.

"I know that your biggest fear is to lose someone you love. You are afraid of death and you can't stand the thought of beeing alone. You are scared of life and of whatever future holds for you. I know that every night, when you go to sleep, you kiss a picture with your parents, and if you don't, you have nightmares. I know that your favorite color is black and you like to pee at fix o' clock.' This makes me smile. No one knows it, not even Lissa. And I'm not talking about pee. I'm talking about the others things he said.

'H-how do you know it? Nobody knows it.' I ask but he seems like he does not hear me.

'I also know that you are a kind person. That when you love, you really love. I know that you have a pure heart and I don't want to change it.' When he finish talking, I look at our hands. My hand fit so right in his.

"H- how do you know all this?' I ask him again.

'It dosen't matter. All that matters is that I don't want to change you. Me in your life, will bring nothing but madness. I want you to keep pure, innocent and happy.' He looks serious, so I belive him.

'But I'm not happy without you.' I say to him. He sat up and start to walk away. 'Don't go. Not again.' I beg him.

'You are to good to be true, Rose, that's why I'm giving up on you.' He takes another two steps and than stops. 'Forget me Rose. It will be better for you.' And he walks away.

'But I can't.' I say out loud but not too loud for frim to hear me. He's going out of my life. He is leaving me, again.

I sat, alone, on my parents grave, crying like a fool. He left me again, he left me here, crying and ask me to feorget him. I wanted him to know that I love him, but he is way too far.

When I wake up, I see that I'm still on my parents grave. My eyes are wet. I think I've been crying in my sleep. I belive that this dream was given by my mom, to tell me to give up on him. That he is not good for me. Now I know how Adrian feels. It hurts way too much.

Dimitri in my life is just like a snowflake. I catch it in my palm and in the next second it disappers. What's worst is that I can't forget him. I will alway were his picuture in my head.

-x-

**I know that Dimitri is a little absent, but I promiss you, he will show up. **

**Please tell me what you thimk about this one.**

**Please review.**

**Lot of love**

**Paula**

**Here is the second part of the poetry "Evening Star"**

"**And to her room with her slow steps **

**He bears his steps and aims **

**Weaving out of his sparkles cold **

**A toil of shaking flames. **

**And when she throws upon her bed **

**Her tired limbs and reposes, **

**He glides his light along her hands **

**And her sweet eyelash closes. **

**And from the mirror on her shape **

**A beam has spread and burns, **

**On her big eyes that beat though closed **

**And on her face that turns. **

**Her smiles view him; the mirror shows **

**Him trembling in the nook **

**For he is plunging in her dream **

**So that their souls may hook. **

**She speaks with him in sleep and sighs **

**While her heart's swelled veins drum: **

**-"O sweet Lord of my fairy nights, **

**Why comest thou not? Come! **

**Descend to me, mild Evening-star **

**Thou canst glide on a beam, **

**Enter my dwelling and my mind **

**And over my life gleam!" **

**And he listens and trembles and **

**Still more for her love craves **

**And as quick as the lightning he **

**Plunges into the waves. **

**The water in that very spot **

**Moves rolling many rings **

**And out of the unknown, dark, depth **

**A superb young man springs. **

**As on a threshold o'er the sill **

**His hasty steps he leads, **

**Holds in his hand a staff with, at **

**Its top, a crown of reeds! **

**A young Voivode he seems to be **

**With soft and golden hair; **

**A blue shroud binds in a knot on **

**His naked shoulder fair. **

**The shade of his face is of wax **

**And thou canst see throughout - **

**A handsome dead man with live eyes **

**That throw their sparkles out. **

**-"From my sphere hardly I come to **

**Follow thy call and thee, **

**The heaven is my father and **

**My mother is the sea. **

**So that I could come to thy room **

**And look at thee from near **

**With my light reborn from waves my **

**Fate toward thee I steer. **

**O come, my treasure wonderful **

**And thy world leave aside; **

**For I am Evening-star up from **

**And thou wouldst be my bride. **

**In my palace of coral I'll **

**Take thee for evermore **

**And the entire world of the sea **

**Will kneel before thy door." **

**-"O thou art beautiful as but **

**In dreams an angel shows, **

**The way though thou hast oped for me **

**For me's for ever close. **

**Thy port and mien and speech are strange **

**Life thy gleams don't impart, **

**For I'm alive and thou art dead **

**And thy eyes chill my heart." ... to be continued.**

**:)**


	4. Chapter 4

I started to forget. It has been a month, and I begin to feel how the pain goes away. His imagine is fixed in my mind. It's all what I'm thinking before I fell asleep. I do not know why, but I still hope he's out there, watching The Evening Star and thinking about me. Deep in my mind I know I'm lyingn myself. He forgot me, and even though I try to deny the truth, it hurts. My wound is open and every time I think about it, it opens even more.

My tears have stopped falling. My eyes have dried up of so much crying.

"Can I beat you?" Lisa asks, entering my room.

"Hi, and no, you can not beat me. I've said this before." I reply.

"I can not stand to see you like this. Not anymore. Come on, dress up beauty, so we'll go out to a club."

"Just the two of us?" I ask as she makes her way to my bed.

"No, you, me and Christian, of course. So, are you in?" I don't know how to answer to that. I know that I need something that will keep my mind busy and not thinking about him, Dimitri.

"I don't know Lissa."

"Oh, come on! I'm done seeing you like this. I'm done trying to help you. I'm done Rose. I've tried so hard to help you to recover, to help you be the one you used to be. You know what? Fuck yourself Rose." I want to answer her but she keeps going on "This is what you chose Rose, it's not the reality." And with that she leavs my room.

What she wanted to mean by 'it's not the reality'? This is real and how much I wish it to be just a dream, it's not.

After it, I turn the light off and try to sleep. In the last month I haven't those dreams. It's like every part of Dimitri, left me. After some hours I fell asleep, thinking about the day of tomorrow.

In the next morning I wake up with Rhea in my room. This is weird, she never does that.

"Hey sweety, how did you slept?" she asks, coming to me.

"Good, I think so. It's something wrong?" I ask her.

"No, I just want to talk something with you and with Lissa." She helps me get out of bed and we go to Lissa's room.

"Hey Lissa." I great as we enter.

"Morning Rose, mom. What are you doing here?"

"I just want to talk about something with both of you." Says Rhea. I climb in the bed next to Lissa and look at our mother. If I can say so.

"Ok, I'm all ears." Lissa and I say in union.

"I've noticed that lately you two have been sad, worried and I'm not ganna ask way. I know that is your teenage problems and if you don't want to share it with me, I'm not going to make you." She looks at her hands and than into Lissa's eyes.

"Mom, it's nothing, I just had some problems with Christian. That's all. And Rose was just worried about me." Says Lissa. This is a lie but I can't tell her the truth.

"And everything is all right now?" she askes Lissa.

"Yeah mom, everything is like it used to be." She answers looking at me. Yeah, everything like it used to be. Not even close.

"Ok. Now, I want to ask if you wanna go somewhere, into a holiday to refresh your mind and soul."

"Why?" Lissa asks.

"Because you seem so strange lately and ..."

"Mom, we can't go anywhere, there are almost 2 months till we graduate and we need to be here, studing for our finales." Replys Lissa to Rhea.

"A week is not that long."

"Well, if Rose wants to than I'll go." Says Lissa looking at me. But I don't. I look down at my hands.

"No Rhea, maybe after the school ends." I say to her.

"Yeah mom, somewhere in Hawai or in Bahamas."says Lissa playfuly to her mother.

"Yeah, keep dreamimg, sweety."

"But where you wanted to send us?"

"To your grendmom." Replays Rhea, now going to the door and opens it.

"You suck, mom." Lissa yells after her.

"I heard that." She yells back.

"I don't care." Replys Lissa, but Rhea is long gone.

-x-

After school I came stright home. I didn't want to talk with no one. Adrian was my shadow today and I think I'm going crazy. I just can't keep him away from me.

When the sun goes down, I decied to take a walk. Not through that park. I try to avoid it as much as I can.

As I walk with my phone ears, listening to Miley Cyrus song "Someone else" , I see a shadow following me. I keep going to see if that is my sick mind or is reality. When I stop, that shadow stops too.

When I look back, I see him .. he stands there in all his splendor. His shoulder-length hair is caught in a pony tail, his brown eyes, like chocolate, are sad and full of regret. On his shoulders he has a black jacket of leather, under it he has a black shirt, black jeans and a pair of boots. His lips do not give any unsemn smile. Seems completely lost and confused. It's like he dosen't know why he is here. He seems confused, sad and hurt.

Even if I'm upset, I can not help but run into his arms. He caught me and he pressed me to his chest. He's cold as usual. I should be angry, and I am, but I can not help. I dreamed about this moment every night. We stay like this fo a while and than I speak.

"Why?" is all I manage to say.

"I don't know." It's his answer. We don't loose our embrace, we stay here, stuck in each other arms. I don't know when I'll see him again.

"Yes you know. Tell me why!"

"Because I was scared." I take two steps behind and look into his eyes.

"Scared of what?" he don't replys, but looks into my eyes. "Scared of what?" I yell at him.

"Of changing you."

"Changing me in what?" I ask. I am angry and hell, I need answers, lot of answers.

"In what you are now." He replys.

"Well than, I think is too late, ha?" I fill the space between us and taks his hand. "It' too late. I'm already changed."

"I just wanted to keep you pure, kind and happy. You won't find those thing near me." I remember this words. He told me that before. In the dream I had at my parents grave. Something deep inside me tells me that he had the same dream.

"Who says I'm looking for those things?"

"Every human beeing."

"Well than , I guess I'm not like anyone else." I say coming even closer to him.

"Of course your not." I smile at his answer. I wrap my arms around his neck and I kiss him. He kisses me back. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me even close, if that is possible. His lips are soft, like silk, but very cold, like all his body. I let his tongue enter my mouth, exploring every inch of it. Even if he is cold, like ice, I feel wormer than never.

"Don't leave again."

"But this is not right." He answers.

"If it is not right, than why do I feel so good?" I ask after I pull back , leting my arms where they are, around his neck.

"Because humans run for wrong even if they know it can't be right." He answers with his eyes close. His face is perfect, too perfect for the human kind.

"Than I love to be wrong." And I kiss him again, another gentle kiss. I've been kissed before, by two different boys, well three if I count Adrian, but I never felt so right.

"You don't have to."

"Stop it!" I let go of my hands and take two steps back. I let him see the hurt in my eyes. "If you don't want me, jusy say it. I won't bother you, you won't see me again. But if you feel the same for me, let me chose what I want, I'll take the risk."

"I do want you, but I'm scared to lose you after you'll find out who I really am. I want you Rose, in every possible way. I don't just want you, I need you. I want you everywhere around me, every second of the night." and he says everything I need to hear. He has my heart.

"Than let me chose you and don't run away, again." I say leting a single tear falling down my face.

"Than chose me." And we hug again. " I think you have to go home, your family will get worried"

"Wanna come?" I ask, hoping he will say yes. Lissa will die when she will se him.

"No, is too soon. Talk to tham about me and we will se later." One of the things I and Dimitri have in commun, is that both oh us have death parents. He told me that his partents were murderd. I feel so sad for him. I understand him so well, we are soul mates.

"Sure, when can I see you again" I ask him.

"Tomorrow night. After the sun goes down come to our place and we will watch The Evening Star risnig. We don't have to stay all night, just a few hours with you are enough for me."he kisses me one more time and walk away. I can't wait to see you tomorrow night, I add to myself.

Back in the house I told everything that happened to Lissa. She said she will support me with everythig and she just can't wait to see him.

"When your relationship with Dimitri will come out to the light, Adrian will understand how truly happy you are." Says Lissa, trying to confort me.

"Now you belive that he actulay exist?" I ask, trying to make her smile.

"I always knew he is real, I just hated to see you so sad because of him. I don't actualy know what to think about him. I don't know if he is a good or a bad guy. I just want to meet him, see how he looks like and if he is that perfect as you claim."

"He is, belive me. You will forget about Sparky in the moment you will see Dimitri."

"I don't think so, but we'll see. And please don't call Christian Sparky. I don't like it."

-x-

"Sad yesterday, happy today. What's the reason of your smile?" asks Adrian.

"Her boyfried." Answers Lissa for me. She has a big mouth.

"So Rose, you have a boyfriend. Is he the reson why you don't want to go out with me?" asks Adrian. I can se the hurt in his eyes, but what can I do? My heart belongs to another man.

"Yeah... Look Adrian, I'm sorry but I just can't help the way I feel about him." I don't know why I apologise, but I feel like I have to.

"Good to know. At least I know the reason why you don't want me." He says and leave us.

"Lissa, you really don't know when to shut up." I shout at my best friend. She had no right to say that.

"I don't like Adrian. All he wants is to get in your pants but you are too blind to see it. Don't be a fool." She says and leave me alone. I can't wait to see Dimitri tonight. Today is ganna be a long, long day.

-x-

When I arrive there, he is laying on the grass with his eyes close. I want to surprise him and give him a kiss. Just when I'm an inch away from his lips, he talks.

"Hey to you too."

"I just can't surprise you, can I?" after all, I kiss him. I lay on the grass, next to him, continuing to kiss him. I think this is my favourite activity to do, lately. Feels so right to be in his arms, I know I belong here. Here with him.

"How much can you stay?" he asks me.

"Ummm, how much do you want me to stay?" I ask, smiling.

"Till the sun rise." That means all night. I take my phone to taxt to Lissa. I make her lie for me to Rhea. Now she thinks that I'll stay at Mia's.

"So you want to keep me here all night?" I ask him.

"Do you wanna come to my place?" and this is the question I was waiting for.

"I'll love to." We get up and make our way to his house. When he stops, I stop. There is a big, beautiful house, pretty old, I think.

"You wanna go inside?" Dimitri asks me.

"Nice house, is it yours?"

"It belongs to my family." He replys.

"It's beautiful in here." And it really is. This house is filled with old furniture. Everything seems to be a treasure.

"Do you want something to drink?" I nodd and he leaves me in the living room. I get up and start to walk through the room. I touch some of the many books, some paitings and everything I can. It all seems so expensive. It feels like the connection between us became stronger. I hope he will feels the same when he will see my room.

"Enjoying the view?" he amlost scares me.

"It's a very beautiful house, Dimitri. How old is it?"

"It was build in 1943. Was hard for my family to build this house because of the World War II."

"I thought you are from Russia?" I ask him.

"I am, my family is all over the world. I lost the contact with them after my parents died."

"I'm sorry." I fill the space between us and kiss his cheek. I want him happy when he is around me. I wanna be the reason for his smile. "What do you do to live?" I add.

"Nothing, I have enough money from my parents." So he is rich, hmmm? Rose, you found him good.

"I wanna become a loyer." I say to him.

"And you will." He says and kisses me. "Rose... I don't wanna destroy you. I feels like I would if you stay with me."

"Hey, look at me... I made my decision. I thought you let me chose. Destroy me if that means I can be with you right now. Destroy me is that means I can love you tonight. Dimitri, I want you... like you said, I need you. Destroy me if that means I can love you just for a moment." I say and I jump in his arms. I don't let him talk. He only has the reason to kiss me, to hold me in his arms, claim me as his. I wanna be his. I know it too soon for this, but if he is going to leave me one day, than I wanna be his in every possible way. He has my heart, my soul, my body,... my love. "I love you, Dimitri."

"You can't. I am a monster." I froze. What is this suppose to mean? A monster?

"As long as I am the one you hold in your arms, I will love you no matter what."

"I am a bad person..."

"But you are good for me." I kept my arms around his his neck, all this time. I need him to know that I'm not leaving. That I'm not afraid.

"Rose, you can't ..."

"Yes I can. If you are so bad, let me free you. Let me teach you what is right. Let me teach you what pure love is. Have you ever been in love before?" I ask him.

"Yes."

"And how is was? Describe!"

"It was different. It was a total different way. What I felt for that one girl and what I feel for you, is so different." He closes his eyes, like he is hurt by some memories.

"You don't have to keep going if you don't want to."

"I used to think that I loved her, but now I know I was just obsessed. One night I wanted to surprise her and come home earlier from my trip. I found her with some other man in her bed. I was so angry... I was so angry that I killed her... I killed her." He scares me. I take some steps back... "Rose, you are free to go. You are so innocent, you can't love a monster. Go, find a human beeing and love him, go and forget about me.." what should I do? Go, run and forget that I ever loved him?

I run.

"I love you." He yells after me.

I run but I stop at some point. God, I'm so scared, I'm so scared of him, of what I feel for him. I belive in one true love, and if it is meant for me to love a monster, I will. I turn around and I make my way, back to his house.

When I am just few steps away of his door, someone touches my shoulder. I turn around and I look her in the eyes. I have never seen her before.

"Who are you?" I ask her.

"Someone you have to be afraid of." She answers.

She throws me so hard upon Dimitri's front door. It breaks down, along with me. God, she is so strong for a girl. Dimitri is next to me in the next second.

"What happened?" he asks. I don't answer him , but I nodd my head.

"Hello, Love." Says the strange girl. She stays there, not coming closer to us.

"Tasha." Dimitri answers.

-x-

**So, I've noticed that you don't like this story so much. I decided to updat as fast as I can and finish this story. **

**Here is the next part pf the poetry ... **

**Days have past since: but Evening-star **

**Comes up againd and stays **

**Just as before, spreading o'er her **

**His clear, translucent rays. **

**In sleep she would remember him **

**And, as before, her whole **

**Wish for the Master of the waves **

**Is clinching now her soul. **

**-"Descend to me, mild Evening-star **

**Thou canst glide on a beam, **

**Enter my dwelling and my mind **

**And over my life gleam!" **

**He hears: and from the dire despair **

**Of such an woeful weird **

**He dies, and the heavens revolve **

**Where he has disappeared. **

**Soon in the air flames ruddy spread, **

**The world in their grip hold; **

**A superb form the spasms of the **

**Chaotic valleys mold. **

**On his locks of black hair he bears **

**His crown a fierce fire frames; **

**He floats as he really comes **

**Swimming in the sun's flames. **

**His black shroud lets develop out **

**His arms marbly and hale; **

**He pensively and sadly brings **

**His face awfully pale. **

**But his big wonderful eyes' gleam, **

**Chimerically deep, **

**Shows two unsatiated spasms **

**That but into dark peep. **

**-"From my sphere hardly I come to **

**Follow thy voice, thy sight; **

**The bright sun is my father and **

**My mother is the night. **

**O come, my treasure wonderful **

**And thy world leave aside **

**For I am Evening-star from up **

**And thou wouldst be my bride. **

**O come, and upon thy blond hair **

**Crowns of stars I shall crowd, **

**And more that all of them, up there, **

**Thou wild look fair and proud." **

**-"O thou art beautiful as but **

**In dreams a demon shows, **

**The way though hast oped for me **

**For me's for ever close. **

**The depths of my breast ache from the **

**Desire of thy fierce love **

**My heavy, big eyes also ache **

**When into them thine shove". **

**-"But how wouldst thou that I come down? **

**Know this - for, do I lie? -: **

**I am immortal, while thou art **

**One of those that must die!" **

**-"I hate big words, nor do I know **

**How to begin my plea; **

**And although thy discourse is clear **

**I don't understand thee. **

**But if thou wantest my flamed love **

**And that would not be sham, **

**Come down on this temporal earth, **

**Be mortal as I am!" **

**-"I'd lose my immortality **

**For but one kiss of thine! **

**Well, I will show thee how much too **

**For thy fierce love I pine! **

**Yes, I shall be reborn from sin, **

**Receive another creed: **

**From that endlessness to which I **

**Am tied, I shall be freed!" **

**And out he went, he went, went out, **

**Loving a human fay, **

**He plucked himself off from the sky, **

**Went for many a day. .. to be continued.**


	5. Chapter 5

"Tasha!" Dimitri answers.

"Happy to see me love?" she yells back.

"What are you doing here?" he asks. Dimitri helps me get up and hold me to his chest.

"What? Surprised to see me alive?" now she comes closer to us. I can see her perfect face, her big blue eyes. She is beautiful, so, so beautiful. It scares me.

"Go away." He yells.

"Or what?" and she has atitude. I don't like her.

"Or I'll make you to." He answers. Dimitri is angry, so angry, I look at his face and I can't reconize it. It's like he turned into someone else, someone I can't tell who.

"I dare you." She comes close to us, to close for me. She is tall, as Dimitri and it makes me feel scary. I don't like her, I don't like her at all, I don't like her so close to me... to us. Go away bithc, I add to myself.

"Tasha, go away!" he yells at her. She seems bored and takes two steps back.

"Ok love, but I'll come back. So wait for me." And she leavs us. I look after her as she diappear into the shadows. I hope that I will never see her again.

I stay where I am, in his arms. My shoulder hutrs but I don't make any sound. I don't cry, I don't even breath. Dimitri hold me tight in his arms and I can feel that I'm save, that I don't have to be afraid, because he is here, to defend me from evil.

"Who is she?" I manage to ask.

"Tasha." He answers. We enter the house and I sit on his couch. My right shoulder and leg hurt like hell.

"Yeah, I got it, but what she means to you?"

"Nothing."

"Dimitri, answer me, who is she." I yell at him. He seems lost and dosen't look me in the eyes. I stare at him scared, he is like a stone, he dosen't blink, breath or move. Lost in his own memory. It hurts me to see him like that. I almost forgat about my injured shoulder... and leg.

I get up and make my way in front of him.

"Look at me!?" he don't make any move. "Look at me!" I yell this time.

"What?" he answer. He seems so last, I think he hasen't heard my question.

"Who is she?"

"She- she is the girl I told you about." He close his eyes but dosen't leave my side. He stands here, in front of me, looking at me like I am the most precious person he has. I take his hand in mine and I kiss the back of it.

"I'm not leaving." I whisper to him. He hugs me really tight and kisses my forehead.

"Thank you." He replys. We stay still and no one of us break the embrace.

"So, you didn't killed her. Dimitri please, forget about what just happened and smile." I don't know what is in his head but he seems really angry and concerned. I don't know what to do to bring him back, on the same planet with me. Instead of doing something, I kiss him. He kisses me back, of course and tighten his embrace. Now, everything seems back to normal, but I know that as soon as I break this kiss, he will be like 10 seconds ago. Even thought, we break the kiss, I keep my lips where they are, close to his.

"I-" he wants to say something, but I won't allow it.

"No, don't talk. Don't ruin this perfect moment."

"No, Rose, don't you see? Nothing is perfect. The girl I thought I killed is back, your leg and your shoulder are injured. Nothing is perfect." Out of no where, he starts to shake, like he has flu. I don't know if he is sick or just scared. All I know is that I have to be here, with him.

"Can't you see that I came back? Can't you see that I'm here. What do you want more? Because I don't need anything, just you, just you right now."

"Dose it hurts bad?" he asks. It takes me some seconds to realise what he means.

"A little." I lie.

"Wait here. I have something that will take your pain." He leaves and I stand where I am. I don't move, it hurts really bad. I think that bitch broke something. God, I really wanna meet her again and show her who is Rose Hataway.

"Here, drink it." Dimitri hand me a cup with something that looks like ...blood? ... and really disgusting. I take some swallow and I can swear it taste like blood.

"What is this? It taste like blood." I ask.

"Don't be silly. Of course is not blood. Is something I bought. It will kill your pain. I swear." He looks serious and I belive him.

"Thank you." And I kiss his cheeks. "I love you."

"I love you too."

-x-

When I wake up, my pain is gone. Dimitri was right, it really took my pain away. I notice that Dimitri sleeps beside me, he looks so calm and beautiful. He seems like an angel with his perfect face. I move the hair he has on his face, but he puts it back. He is so sweet when he sleeps.

I get up and make my way to his window. The sun is just rising and it looks so beautiful. I remove the curtains and let the sun come in. When I turn to look at Dimitri, he is gone. Like in a second he is here and in the next he is gone. Maybe he is in the bathroom and I haven't noticed when he left.

"Dimitri, where are you?" I yell in the room.

"Bathroom." He answers.

"Oh..."

"Rose, can you put the curtains as they where, my eyes huts because of it, is too early" It is weird, but if is for his own good, I did as he said.

"Done." I yell at him. After some second he comes back. He steps in front of me, takes my face in his hands and kisses me.

"Good morning, beautiful." I can not help but smile at his words. I don't think I ever wake up and felt this happy, since my parents died.

"Morning to you too, handsome." We kiss for some more minutes and than he pulls away.

"Come, let's eat something because you have to leave." He takes me with him in the kitchen and makes me breakfast. So, he knows how to cook. God Rose, you can't lose him, handsome, ritch and a good cook, yeah, he is something I have to keep. Beside all of this, I love him, I can't let him go.

"What? Why do you look at me like that?" he asks.

"I don't know. You look good cooking and ...sexy." I say and I try to rise one of my eyebrow, but of course I fail.

"What you just tried to do?" he asks and come close to me.

"Rise on of my eyebrow, but how you can see, I CAN'T." I yell the last words. Not because I'm angry at him, but at me, because I can't do something that simple, like rise a eyebrow.

"You mean like this?" and he rise one of his eyebrow.

"I hate you." I reply to him. I don't mean it, but I'm so angry at myself because of this. I know it is childish, but I can't help. I feel like I can be in anyway with him, he will always see me like his precious flower. I don't know why, but Dimitri looks at me and smiles, but one of those smiles that can conquer a heart for good. It's just so perfect this smile he has.

"You look beautiful when you smile." I tell him.

"Well, this is because of you." He replys and puts the food on the table.

"So, I don't understand something. You said you are from Russia but this house, wich is in America, belongs to your family. How it comes?"

"Well, this house was build lot of years ago, it actualy was my grand grand dad's house. It's complicated but yes, I was born in Russia and I moved here a little after my parent died." I don't know if I understood something, but hell, I stare at him like at TV. He is freaking hot, for his own good. Authorites shouldn't let him walk on street like these. People (women) will get a heart attack.

"So, ummm... will you come and take me from school? I would love to spend some time with you." I ask, looking down at my hands, waiting for an 'yes' as answer.

"Roza, I would love to-"

"Perfect, I'm off at 3PM." I say after I kiss his cheeks.

"Roza I'm sorry, but I can't." And suddnely my smile drop off.

"Way?" I ask. He waits for a second, looking at a wall, like searching for an answer.

"One of my old friend is coming here and I really want to talk to him. There are lot of years since I haven't seen him. But I promise that I will make it up to you." He says and I still look down at my hands, feeling like a child who wasn't allowed to eat chocolate.

"How?" I ask innocently.

"Ummm, if you want to, come tonight here, he will be gone around 8PM." He takes my hands in his and kisses tham. He is so sweet and I'm here, acting like a fucking child. Oh Rosemarie Hawaway, when will you grow old? I ask myself. Yeah I know, smart.

"You're sweet." I tell him, trying to give my innocent smile. I think I did because I melt his heart. Score 1 for Rose. Wait... we are not playing any game here . Yeah Rose, you really lost your mind.

"For you anything, Roza." He says and kisses my hands again.

"I like when you call me 'Roza'. I say and I blush. God, I feel so pathetic.

"Well, perfect because I love to call you Roza. My Roza." He says and come close to me, so close that I can feel his heartbeat. He takes my face between his face and kisses me with such passion that I didn't knew that existed in this world. This moment is perfect, I wanna remember it forever. But of course, any perfect moment has to be ruinned by something, and this momnet is ruinned by my phone. Oh, you damn phone. I will throw you away.

I look at my phone and I see that is Lissa. I decided to ignore her.

"When will your friend come here?" I ask.

"I don't know. Do you wanna meet him?" He asks looking stright into my eyes.

"I don't know. I guess." I reply. Actually, I would love to meet someone from Dimitri's life. I would love to learn more about him, to know things about his past, and from what he said, this friend of his, looks to be someone very close to him.

"Ok than, I'll see what I can do." He says.

"Ok than."

"By the way, his name is Ivan." All this time, we stood face to face, like I said, so close that I can feel him breathing.

"Ok. " we don't say nothing for some seconds, just stare in each other eyes. I could get lost easely.

"Roza?"

"What?"

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" He asks, looking at me like I was his child and he my father. Yeah, it do me no good to think this way.

"Nope." I answer, popping the letter 'p'. Yeah, like a child.

"Yes you do. School." and he shows me the door. (yeah, he has the door back where it was supposed to be.) How rude. "Se you tonight." He places his hands on my shoulders and lend me to the door. He kisses me one more time and turn the back on me. What a boyfriend. I walk outside and look up at the sky. I can't wait to see it going down so I could come back to Dimitri.

At school Lissa is waiting for me with my stuff. Some books and some clothes. I walk fast to the bathroom, with Lissa behind me, of course, and change in fresh clothes. I love Lissa, she always know what to do.

"So Rose, how was last night?" she asks as I'm changing in my fresh clothes.

"It was good. We... slept." Yeah, it sounds pathetic but it is true. Of course we kiss, but we didn't do anything more. Just slept.

"Slept like slept ot slept like having sex?" Lissa asks. Yeah, her mind is just to big for her little head.

"Slpet like slept, Lissa. As like puting my head on the pillow and have dreams."

"I thought so." She replys.

"Than why did you asked.?"

"I don't know."

The day passed painfuly slow. I looked at the watch five times at second.

Now I am at Dminitri's front door wating for him to open the door. I wait and wait and he dosen't answer. I decided to go and come back later, even thought it was aleardy dark outside. Just when I want to step away, a car stops there. Looking better, I see Dimitri claimbing down the car and with a bag in his hands.

"Oh, you are already here." He comes close to me and kisses my lips for a second. Not more than that, just a second. Hell, I need more than that.

"Yeah, here I am." I answer to him. I place my hands on his shoulders and lift my head up and I kiss him, this time, a little longer.

"Can we go inside?" he asks and I blush. Yeah, I'm so stupid.

"Sure." I turn my back to him, so he wouldn't be able to see me blushing.

"You know I know that you blush, right?" he asks from behind me. Damn this man.

After some time, that seemed like 2 hours, I'm with Dimitri, laying on his bed, looking up. He comes in the room with two cups in his hands.

"What is it?" I ask, siting up. " I smells really good." I add.

"Hot chocolate. Do you like it?" he comes closer and hands me one cup.

"You kidding, I love it. My dad used to make me hot chocolate every Saturday night." I say and look in the cup at the chocolate. " I remember that all the time after the shower on Saturday nights, he came with a cup of hot chocolate and told me that it was to get worm. I felt like a child, but hell, I was a child. I don't know, but I used to love that." I allowed a tear to fall down my face. Dimitri sits on the bed, next to me and take me in his strong arms.

"Shh, don't cry, I will always be here for you."He says and and kisses the tear away from my face. God, how much I love this man.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" I ask him. Out of blue, I rememberd about those strange dreams that I had and I want to ask him if he had tham too.

"Sure, anything Roza."

"I kind of had some dreams about you and I want to know if you had tham too." He looks me in the eyes but dosen't look surpised. It's like he was expecting this question, or something...

"What dreams Roza?"

"Ummm, well, tham came like out of no where. The first one was when I was waiting for you at our place. I felt sick and I sat down on the grass and it came like 'boom', out of nowhere." I asy while drinking from my cup.

"What was it about?" he asks.

"Ummm, in the first one we were in my parents house and we were like a old married cople, but happy, damn happy. In the second, it was you and me, somewhere, I didn't knew the place, but it was filled with flowers and it was really beautiful." I look down at my hands and drink a little from my cup. How am I ganna tell him about the next dream?

"Roza, the next one? I'm all ears." Yeah I know how is all ears, but am all ashame.

"It was about me and you while having, ummm I don't know how to say it... um while having sex." And I say it. Yeah, I feel soo good now, hell no, I don't feel better at all.

"And you are ashamed of that?" he asks looking into my eyes. God, I wanna bury myself.

"Yes, of course, what was those dreams?"

"Oh Roza, don't be ashamed of something like this." He takes away my empty, now, cup from my hands and give me one thight hug.

"And in the last one, it was you telling me goodbye and making me forget about you." I close my eyes and take his hands in mine."Please tell me you won't go again. I don't know if I could take it."

"Of course Roza. I promise, NEVER." We stay in each other arms for some minutes and it feels like pure heaven.

"I love you." I whisper to him.

"I know, as I love you. Now come on... I should take you home."

We get up and make our way to my house.

**Hey. Sorry for being out for so long. **

**I just came back from shoping and decided to updat, hope you enjoyed this chapter and please make my day and review. I just started school, again, after Easter holiday and I'm like hell.**

**Hope you had a good day**

**Lot of love and see you neex time, I hope it will be sooner than I expect.**

**Paula**


	6. Chapter 6

It's been 2 weeks since Dimitri and I are a couple and I never been happier. I swear I could stay in his arms forever. He is everything I could wish for. I told Rhea about him and she really wants to meet him, well, not more than Lissa.

Tonight is the night when my family will meet my boyfried. I really hope that they will like him.

"Rose, have you done cleaning up your room?" Reah yells at me from the kitchen. She wants everything to be perfect. Clean up the house, make special food and make sure everything will be perfect for when he will arrive.

"Yeah I did all you said." I yell back at her.

"I can't belive that I will actualy meet him." Says Lissa from behind me. She almost scared me.

"Fuck Lissa, you scared me."

"Sorry." He says and come near me. "Are you nervouse?" he asks.

"No, why should I?"

"Because your boyfriend is coming to dinner." I remember when Lissa brought Christian the first time to dinner. She was so nervouse that I thought she will die. Lucky me she didn't.

"No I'm not, Lissa. I mean, is not the first time when I see him. Remember, I slept with him in the same bad." And as I finish my sentance I hear he door bell ring. "I'll take it." I yell in the house.

When I open the door I see the most handsome man I ever saw. My precious boyfriend.

"Hey you." I say.

"Hey." We stay and look at each other for some seconds. I just can't look any other way. He is breathtaking.

"You look good." I say.

"You look beautiful, but... can I come in?" he asks looking into my eyes. God, what a fool.

"Of course. Please come in, Dimitri." He looks at the door before to step in. Weird...

"This is for you." He hands me a beautiful red rose and kisses one of my cheeks. "A beautiful flower for my beautiful Rose." and I blush. I hate when it happens, and it's only because of him. Damn him.

"Awww, thank you. You are so sweet."

"And these are for your mother and Lissa." And he hands me another two flowers..., but not roses.

"You really are the best boyfriend a girl can have. I'm so lucky to have you. Now come and meet my family." He takes one of my hands in his and keeps me close to him. Like I belong to him... which is true, I belong to him.

"Only for you." He says and holds my hand even tighter.

"Hey everyone, come and meet Dimitri!" I yell. In less than a second they are around us, Lissa, my mom and my dad. Even thought they are not my real family I love tham like they are. I love tham.

"Hello Dimirei." Says Eric, my dad.

"Evening ,Sir." He says back.

"Please call me Eric." I don't need this night to be akwerd so I have to do something to stop this.

"So ummm..." I clear mt throt and continue, "Dimitri, this is Rhea, my mom and this is Lissa my sister and best friend."

"Nice to finaly meet you, Dimitri." Says Lissa. I know she really wanted to meet him, like really bad.

"So, where is Sparky?" I ask.

"I told you not to call him like that, please Rose." Complains Lissa.

"Who's sparky?" Asks Dimitri.

"Sparky is Lissa's boyfriend, he said he will be here tonight. He is like family too. I know that pretty soon he will be my brother-in-low." I say trying to annoy Lissa. She hates when I say things like that.

"So his name is 'Sparky' or is it just a nickname?" Asks Dimitri.

"That is not a nickname, just Rose likes to call him like that. His name is Christian." Says Lissa just when Christian enter the room.

"What about me?" he asks. Yeah, he from all people has to came here just when we were talking about him.

"Nothing baby. Look, this si Dimitri, Rose's boyfriend." Says Lissa taking his hand in hers. I hate to say this, but they look pretty well togeter.

"So why do you call him sparky?" Dimitri whispers into my ear. He make me smile a little.

"That's a story for another time." I say back.

"Ok."

We ate and everything was just the way I wanted to be. There were no akwerd moments, well at least not for tham but for me. They told Dimitri every akwerd moment from my life. It was so embrressing.

"I love whn you blush." Dimitri whispers to my ear.

"And I hate when I blush."

It is time for Dimitri to go home and all I want is him to stay here as long as possible.

"So, tomorrow night, my house?" He asks.

"Why?"

"You said you want to meet Ivan, isn't it right?" he has a point. We walk hand in hand for some second and than he pulls way. "So are you coming?"

"I won't miss it, you know all embrressing things from my life, I need to know all from yours." I say as I let go of his hand.

"Ok than, see you tomorrow night. Can't wait." He leans to kiss me.

"Ok, see you." And I walk away.

-x-

**The next evening**

I am walking to Dimitri's home really happy. I really want to meet that Ivan and hear out all embrrerssing stories about Dimitri. I bought a bottle of wine for tham, I hope I did good, I know boys (men) likes wine.

As I walk to his house I pass by our place, in the park. This brings lot of memories to me, bad and happy. The perfect one, the moment I met him. I would never change that night, for nothig in this world.

"Where are you walking so happy, my dear?" says a voice behind me. It is strange, it sounds familiar. I heard this voice before, but where?

"Who are you?" I ask the shadow behind the tree.

"Why, missed me?" and yes... I remember, Tasha.

"What do you want?" I ask walking closer to her, showing that I am not afraid of her.

"But why so rude, little girl?" she asks staying where she was.

"What do you want?" I ask her again.

"I want to talk to you." She replys.

"About?"

"Dimitri." She says, smiling.

"You know that nothing you say will change something. So, you can talk." I order.

"You are just some fool, little girl." God, she knows how to annoy me. I wanna reap her head. Too bad Dimitri didn't killed her that time.

"Say want you wanna say and walk away." I oreder this time, louder.

"You know Dimitri is just playing with you, right? He has no heart, he is not capable of love, he dosen't know what love is."

"Why, because he tried to kill you?" I ask smiling just to annoy her.

"Yeah, about that thing, he actually killed me." She says looking at the ground.

"Yeah I can see, he killsed your humanity." I say almost yelling.

"Oh, you little bitch. You just don't know when to shut up, do you?" she says coming close to me. She punch me hard in the stomach and throw me on a tree. OMG, I think she broke all of my bones. I have no time to scream because she punch me again, this time in my face. This hurt, even harder. I think my face is covered by blood.

"Stop." I whisper. I barely can breath, it hurt to much.

"Stop? Why stop?" she asks punching me again. God, I hate this slut so much.

"What do you think your doing?" says a voice behind her.

"Oh, love, you had to show up, didn't you?" she steps away from my face so I can see that shadow. Dimitri.

"Step away from her!" he oreders.

"Or what?"

"Or you will regret this action forever." He is angrey, I can hear it in his voice, I can see it in his eyes.

"OMG, she dosen't know what you really are, dose she?" she says smiling.

"Tasha, stop it!" he yells. What is he? What can he be?

"She dosen't know. Well, I guess you too have to talk. See you soon, love." She walks close to him, to close for my own sake and try to kiss one of his cheeks. Of course he dosen't let her. Yeah, that's my man. She walk away this time and I really hope is for good.

"oh my God, Rose, are you ok?" he asks coming close to me. He trys to take my face in his hands but I don't let him. He has some explanations to do.

"Step away from me!" I order him.

"Rose, you don't have to be afraid of me." He whispers to me.

"Yes I have to, look at me, I am half dead because of your ex-jelous-girlfriend." I say trying to yell but all I did was whisper.

"Let me help you." He says trying again to take my face in his hands. This time I let him. He helps me get up and I feel how some of my pain fades away. He takes some steps behind to look me in the eyes. His face is as perfect as it always was.

"Thank you." I whisper.

"Oh love, you don't have to thank me. Come, let's go home and take care of you." I can see in his eyes that he cares but something is stuck in my head: 'What he really is.' What did Tasha meant by those words. And just like that, flashes came into my head. The first night I kissed him, I remember that I looked at his hand to see if he has a ring and he smiled. He knew what I was looking at. Those strange dreams that came like out of no where, he was just playing with my mind. That think I drank, I am sure it was his blood. Oh my God, what monster is this man I love I take some steps behind wanting to be as far away from him.

"What you are?" I ask whispering, but I don't care, I know he heard me. He wants to take sope steps to be closer to me but all I do is step back. "Stay where you are!"

"Rose, please, don't be afraid of me." He says trying to get closer.

"What are you, I ask."

"I am a vampire, Rose." he answers. A what? So Lissa is not insane, this thing really exist? I guess I have some apologise to do to her.

Now what am I ganna do? Ran away from him or ran to his arms? If I can ran, because in my situation, I'll be luck if I live for the next 10 minutes.

-x-

**So here it is, the next chapter. Sorry that I have been gone for so long. I just felt like I write it for no one, which is true, but still, here I am, posting the sixth chapter.**

**So, what do you want Rose to do? Ran away from him or ran to his arms?**

**Please review.**

**PS. Do you want me to still write this story or end it here? **

**Just let me know**

**Have a good day, night, or whatever time zone is there.**

**Love you all.**

**Paula.**

**:)**


	7. Chapter 7

Now what am I ganna do? Run away from him or run into his arms?

I'm confused. The time I spent away from him was a living hell, I was a beath girl walking. Everything that kept me alive was my parents memory. When I met him, I finaly found somthing to hang on, someone alive that could love me no matter what. He was my salvation, the one that wiped my tears,or so I thought.

And now what? What all this meant to him? What am I to him? I should've know that true love can't just come so easy. I was just a toy in his game. But what game?

On the other hand, how can someone pretend so good? Maybe it's just my mind and he really loves me. Maybe he finally found someone alive to love. God, so many thoughts in my mind right now.

Ok Rose, don't think, just don't. Let the heart choise for you. And just like that, my answer came clean as cristal to me.

I run to him.

"I'm scared." I whisper. He kisses the top of my head and takes me in his arms, bridel style.

"Don't be, you will be all alright with me. Don't be scare, love."

"All- all my bb-bb-ody hurts." I try to say. I don't know if he understands what I am saying but sure as hell he feels it.

"Hang in there, baby. We will be home soon." He holds me even closer to his body and I feel like Death is coming to take me. In less than a second we are at his house. He really is fast when he want to be.

I feel weak and I barley can keep my eyes open. I barely can breath. I feel like Death is coming closer and closer than I want. At the end I blank out, I let the darkness take me. I just hope to see my parents there, to walk on the oter side and hug tham.

I don't know how much time passed but opening my eyes I see darkness and... Dimitri's room. Ok, so my heaven looks like his bedroom or I'm not death. I look around and touch everything I can make sure it's real.

"Finally, you are awake."he comes close to me and hands me a cup.

"What is this, your blood?" I ask ironicaly but I didn't smile at all.

"It's a cup of hot chocolate, Roza." And he is right, I look in the cup and I see hot chocolate. I look at him and nod my head, leting him know I am thankfull.

"How are you feeling?" he asks sitting in bed close to me.

"Good, I guess." I don't look into his eyes, I feel like I would forget about who he really is. He is a monster and I have to face it, even if it hurts. "Say something!" I add, seeing that he does not say something.

"I don't know what to say." And he does not look me in the eyes either.

"Why did you lied to me?"

"What was I supposed to say, Rose, that I'm a vampire, a ripper, a monster?"

"Than what am I for you, the next dinner?" I know I would hurt him with all the words I will say, but he has no choice. He will listen to me and he would listen till the last word. "What am I for you, just a toy you play with? God, I can't belive I trusted you, I belived in you, I can't belive I fell in love with you, and you just played all this time." I let fall some tear down my face but not because I want him to see me weak, just because I can't no more. It hurts so bad, I want to scream my soul out.

"It is not true and you know it."

"I'm not so sure now." I say, this time looking at him. "I don't know who you are Dimitri, I never knew."

"Yes you do, all I told you about me it's true, you have to belive me." Seeing that I don't look at him, he takes my face in his hands making me look at him. "I love you, Roza, and you know it, you feel it, don't deny." I close my eyes, refusing to look into his eyes. I am hurt and all he does is to push the knife even dipper.

"The Dimitri I know does not exist. He was just in my mind." I say, whispering.

"No, no, I'm right here. Open you eyes and see that I'm right here." But I don't open tham. I just can't. I don't know what he did to make the pain from my body go away, but of one thing I'm sure, he can't do anything to make this pain from my heart go away.

"How can I love you when I'm afraid of you?" I ask.

"No, your not afraid, you are just confused." And the truth is this, I am confused, I don't know what I want anymore.

"Maybe..."

"Why don't you look at me.?" He asks, still having my face in his hands.

"Because I can't."

"Rose, I would never do anything to hurt you, please open your eyes and look at me." And I start to cary just like a baby of so much pain. I hate this, I hate this feelings.

"No."

"I love you, Roza." he whispers into my ear. God, how much I used to love hearing this and the truth is, I still love it, I still love him, and so fucking much.

And I open my eyes.

"I love you too." I whisper back. He smiles and kisses me. Even thoght he hurted me so much I just can't deny his kisses, his kisses are pure perfection for me.

I lay in bed with him above me, still kissing me. I melt into his touches and do nothing but kiss him back. Our kissing start to increase as my hands began to play with his shirt. I find the buttons after playing with the collar of his shirt. Soon our clothes disappear and I find myself at the point of losing my virginity, but I don't care. I feel safe and protected.

"Tell me to stop."

"I don't want you to stop." I reply. I wrap my arms even tighter around his neck and pull him closer. His lips are warm and makes me wanna kiss him for eternety. He kisses me carefully back, nibbling and sucking my lower lip with such plesure. Drawing the tip of my tongue along the inner edge of his mouth, he groaned and pulls me above him, I can barely breathe. Thrusting my fingers into his hair, I press my tongue into his mouth, cautiously, tracing over the hard palate just behind his teeth while puting my legs on each side of him. He put one hand at the back of my neck, directing me, and with the other one he touches one of my breast.

Staring up at me, he touch my lower lip with his thumb while smiling. We move again so he is above and look at me, like asking for permision, he pulls in. I let a scream escape my mouth and wait for the pain to fade.

When it is over I let my head rest on his chest and hear the sound of his heart beat. Wait a second...

"Why does your heart beat?" I ask, looking at him.

"I don't know. I never asked so I don't know." I let my head rest again on his chest and start to play with one of his nippels.

"Thank you." I say whispering. He does not answer but instead look at me.

"No, thank you." And he kisses the top of my head.

"So, the question of the day, how old are you?"

"Not much, just 76." He answers smilimg.

"Well, just 76, you are really young." I try to joke but I guess I don't do a good job because him smile fade. "Sorry." I add.

"You are beautiful." He says and like the fool I am, I blush.

"I don't want this momen to come to an end."

"Me either."

"But we have, or I have to face the reality." I say standing up looking for my clothes.

"Where are you gonig, it's past midnight?."

"Nowhere, I'm just looking for my clothes." I reply, half yelling.

After we dress up, I trun around to look at him, but all I see it's Dimitri, standing there, in front of me, in nothing but his boxers. Thank you love for such a view. Clearing my throt I say:

"We need to talk, more."

"I know, but let do this tomorrow, you are tired and need to sleep." He is right, but I don't think that I can sleep now.

"I know. Ok than, let's sleep. But tomorrow we talk." He nodds and lead me back to the bed.

I never thought that I would fall asleep so fast in his arms.

In the morning I wake up in a empty cold bed. This feeling sucks.

"Morning beautiful." Says Dimitri while entering the room with two cups of hot chocolate in his hands.

"Morning." He hands me my cup and after that my phone.

"What's with my phone?" I ask taking it.

"It rang all morning. It must be something important." I look at it and see 100 of lost calls from Lissa. She knows I'm at Dimitri's but I think she never expacted me to stay over.

"It's Lissa. I have to go, can we meet at our place tonight?" I ask.

"Sure, see you tonight." And I leave.

-x-

"Where where you?." Asks Lissa as I enter the house.

"At Dimitri's, where do you think I was." I reply.

"You should tell me you were planing on staying over." She shouts back at me.

"Sorry." I answer.

"And what did you two did togeter?" she asks. OMG, I can't belive she just asked this question.

"What do you think?"

"I asked you, so answer." God, this girl can be annoying sometimes.

"Liss I stayed over at my boyfriend's house, what do you think we did?" I roll my eyes and walk up staires. She does not follow me, thank God.

Now I just have to wait for the darkness to come so I can see my boyfriend.

-x-

"Hey" I say as I sat on the grass next to him.

"Hey beautiful." He says kissing my cheek.

"So, I thought about us and I can't live like this." He looks at me for some seconds without even breathing, this if he breaths.

"Like what?" he asks confused.

"Like this. Dimitri, I love you, I really do but..." I don't want to brack his heart with my words but I have no choice.

"Please, go on..." he says taking my hands in his.

"I can't be with you, not like this." I look at our shaking hands and continue, "I think that some witch, and I can't belive I say this, but I don't think that vampire existed from forever."

"No they haven't." He says aproving me. "They've been curesed."

"By a witch, Right?"

"Yes." He replys.

"Well than I think that there is a way to be human again."

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"Go and find a witch that can brack your curse, for me. Be a human again, for me and than we can be togeter."

"So you ask me to give up my imortality for you?" he asks a little angry freeing my hands from his.

"Y-ye-yes." I say at least.

"I can't belive you." And he walks away with a big part of my heart.

I look at him and let tears fall down my face. He's gone.

-x-

**Tell me what you think about this chapter please. :) **

**Question: do you want Dimitri to be human again? Let me know and I'll do as you say.**

**Love you all**

**Paula**


	8. Chapter 8

**D pov**

I can't belive what I'm doing. Sacrifice my imortality for a human, I never thought I'll come this far. I never thought what love can do with me. But I don't regret anything, if I'm doing what I'm doing is because I love her, no words can describe how much I love that one girl. What is bothering me is that I left without let her know. She doesn't know where I am and I'm gone for 3 weeks now.

I miss her, I wander if she misses me?

Right now I'm standing In a plane, hiding from the sun, going to Romania. I know there is a witch that can undo my curst, I know she will help me and God is my witness that she will, willing or not, she will. By all means, Im going to a little village populated by slaves that ran from them woners, a village that is forgaten by human kind, a village that is called Baia. (**P.S Baia really exist in Romania. It is somewhere in the south of the country and it is not populated. It is a historical village, that was very powerful till the war from 1467 destroyed it. And for the record, Baia in Romanian means bathroom.) **I don't know why she is there, maybe she hide from someone but I really don't care. I want her to free me and she will. She will do as I say or she will die in the next second she will say 'no'.

It's night and the plane touch-down. It left me in Bucharest and it's a long ride till Baia. I don't know how am I ganna do to be there, but I will, I will because I need to be human again, I need it, I have to do it, for Roza.

**After 10 hours**

Here I am, in Baia and belive me this place looks like a wreck. I cant belive people live here. I walk through the village for this witch but I think I need to ask someone for help.

"Scuza-ma, stii cumva unde pot sa o gasesc pe vrajitoarea Ruxandra?" **(sorry, do you know where I can find the witch, Ruxandra?) **I ask someone I see on the street.

"Da, ea locuieste chiar la acea casa." **(Yes, she lives right there.) **He says pointing at a house.

"Multumesc." **(Thank you.)** I say and I make my way to that house. This house looks like the rest of the village, like a wreck, of course.

I don't bother to knock, I just enter the house.

"Buna ziua si tie." **( good eveing to you too." **She says when she sees me enter her house.

"Da, nu am timp de asa ceva. Vreau sa ma ajuti." **( yeah, I don't have time for something like this. I want you to help me.) **I say trying to make her fear me. Of course she does not, she is a witch after all.

"Stiu de ce esti aici, tinere. Chiar te asteptam." **( I know why are you here, young man. I actually was waiting for you.) **she says taking a sit.

"Nu sunt impresionat." **( I'm not impressed.) **I say.

"Esti sigur de ceea ce vrei sa imi ceri?" **(are you sure about what you want to ask me?)** she asks, looking up at me.

"Da, sunt sigur." **(Yes I'm sure.)**

"Cat de sigur?" **(How sure?) **she asks again. God, this woman is really annoying.

"Foarte sigur." **(pretty sure.) **I say as I take a sit front of her.

"De ce vrei sa iti pierzi nemurirea?" **( why do you want to lose your imortality?) **she asks. Like she dosen't know. She is a witch, she knows everything she wants to know.

"De parca nu stii." **(Like you don't know.) **

"Da stiu, dar esti sigur de ceea ce vrei sa faci. Crezi ca merita?" **( yeah I know, but are you sure about what you want to do. Do you thinks is worth it?) **God, this woman really annoys me. What shee needs from me? An official document with my name on it. Yeah, I'm really sure about what I want and I want this. I want a life next to my Roza, I want to actually grow old next to her, be her everythig, have a beautiful family next to her. I want to be happy with her, I want her and I need her as much as she does.

"Da" **(yes) **I answer pretty loud. What if she is old, maybe she does not hear pretty well if she keeps asking me about what I want.

"Crezi ce ea merita acest sacrificiu?" **(do you think she deserves this sacrifice?) **I look on the ground and than into her eyes and say.

"Da, ea merita totul." **( yes, she desrves everything.) **

"Esti sigur de iubirea pe care ea ti-o poarta?" **( are you sure about her love for you?)**

"Nu e treaba ta in ce cred eu. Am nevoie de tine sa imi desfaci blestemul." **( is not your business about what I belive in. I need you to undo my curst.) **and when my last word came out of my mouth an inexplicabele ache of head hits me. It hurts so bad and I can't think. When the pain start to fade an image with my Roza comes into my mind. An image with her lying on her bed with someone, that Adrian she once told me about, above her. They were making out in her bed, in the bed where I declared my love for her. What is she doing?

This is not real, this is something a witch can do. She is playing with my mind and she will regert it.

With my last powers I walk fast, faster than a human can see, and push her on a wall.

"Opreste-te! Stiu ca nimic nu e adevarat. Opreste-te!" **( stop it! I know that this is not real. Stop it!) **I yell at her.

"Nu fac nimic altceva decat sa iti arat realitatea asa cum este ea." **( I'm not doing anything else than to show you the reality, just like it is.) **she says crossing her arms, steping away from the wall.

"Nu, nu e adevarat, Roza mea nu ar face niciodata asa ceva. Te joci cu mintea mea si nu imi place asta. Desfa-mi blestemul sau te omor." **(No, It is not true, my Roza will never do such a thing. You are playing with my mind and I don't like it. Undo mu curst or I will kill you.) **she got on my nerves really bad now. I can't belive she just did that.

"Nu nega ceea ce e adevarat. Tot ce ti-am aratat este adevara." **(don't deny what is true. What I've made you see it's true.) **my mind it's just so confused right now. It can't be true. She can't do it to me. She loves me, hell I have read her mind and she really loves me. "Sau te-a iubit. In trecut." **(or she loved you. Past tense.) **

God, this is real. I left her 3 weeks ago. Her love wasn't true, if she really loved me she would have wait for me, even if I haven't told her where I'll be. If she really loved me she wouldn't be in bed with that man in such a short time.

"Why?" I whisper just for me.

"Of, nu te mai framanta asa de tare. Asa sunt fetele din ziua de azi." **( Oh, don't worry too much. Now days girls are like this.) **she says.

"Dar am crezut ca ea e diferita, ca ea este acea fata speciala care imi poate salva sufletul de atat durere." **(but I belived that she is different, thst she is that special girl that can save my soul from such pain.)** All I can think is my Roza under that sun of a bitch. I feel like I want to kill him.

"Ceea ce conteaza e ca tu ai iubit-o cu adevarat sau ca o iubesti cu adevarat." **( what matters is that you really loved her or that you really love her.)** she says taking some steps closer to me.

"nu conteaza ce spui tu acum, inca doare, si doare foarte tare." **(dosen't matter what you say right now, it still hurts and hurts pretty bad.) **she taks one of my hands on hers and look me in the eyes.

"Asa e Dimitri, nu conteaza. Ea chiar ti-a eliberat sufletu de durerea trecutului dar ca... ti-a inlocuit-o cu durerea de a fi tradat de iubirea vietii tale. Stiu ca doare si pot sa te ajut sa indepartezi durerea." **(So it is, Dimitri, dosen't matter. She actualy freed your sould from the past pain but... she replaced it with the pain of losing the love of your life. I know it hurts but I can help you push away that pain.) **maybe after all she is not that bad as I thought.

"Nu, vreau sa simt durerea asta. Vreau sa stiu cum e cand aceasta durere dispare." **( No, I want to feel this pain. I want to know how is when this pain fades away.) **I say taking my hand from hers.

"Deci, intrebarea finala, mai vrei sa iti pierzi nemurirea?" **(so, the final question, do you still want to lose your imortality?)**

And in that second came in my mind happy moment with Roza, with her in my arms, with her kissing my lips, with her making love to me. But than, than came that image with her and that Adrian. How could she?

I look into the witch eyes and nodd my head. I know what I want and what I want is for me, not for Roza, not for anyone.

-x-

**Sorry that this chapter is so short but I want it to be just D pov and that's all he has to say.**

**Sorry about my updat, I know it's been a while and I am really sorry. This week was a hard one for me, I had to term papers, one at Histotrya and one at latin, I mean who the fuck still learns latin in schools?**

**So, question: do you learn latin language at school?**

**The second question: What do you think Dimitri is goind to do. Lose his imortality forever, become a human and be with Rose, or will he live forever, forget about her and move on? Please let me know what you think and I'm up to ant advice. So, go on.**

**Love you all and thank you for your reviews, it really make me smile.**

**Have a good day.**

**Paula ...**

**See ya next time**


	9. Chapter 9

Three weeks, three weeks and I haven't heard from him. What am I supposed to do, stand here and cry for him? I'm really sorry but I'm done crying for something, in this case someone that doesn't give a shit for me. If he wants to forget me, hell I will forget him too, even if this is kind of impossible.

I thought he is the one, the one that will do anything I ask, the one that loves me under any condition. I guess I was wrong. Yes, I asked him for his immortality but I did it for us. I want us to be a normal couple, to grow old together, have children, than grandchildren and than die. But all of this together.

"Rosemarie Hataway, are you crazy, stupid, fool? What's in your head crazy woman?" Yells Lissa at me like I did something very wrong.

"What's wrong, Lissa?" I ask, looking at her.

I am on a bench, near school. I just couldn't stay there anymore. Everyone is happy there and all I want to do is cry my soul out and scream his name so loud till heaven hears me and bring him back to me. I guess it won't happen. Suck destiny, or better, suck my destiny.

"How could you, Rose. In a relationship with Adrian, are you that stupid?" oh yeah, I forget to say, because of the pain Dimitri left behind I decided to use Adrian as my remedy. I want him to heal me.

"I just need help, Lissa." I answer without looking at her.

"Than why haven't you came to me? You know I'm here for you." He says taking a sit next to me an the bench.

"I just need to forget him."

"Don't you think is too soon?" She says taking one of my hands in hers.

"Maybe but it hurts so bad, it's like I want to take that pain out of my soul with any cost." I feel like tears wants to flood my eyes.

"What happened that made him leave so suddenly?" Asks Lissa.

"I asked him for something and he said no and left."

"What did you asked for?" she asks trying to look in my eyes but I don't allow it.

"Something that should stay between us. Sorry Lissa but I can't tell." I know it hurts her but what am I supposed to say 'He is a vampire and I asked him for his mortality but he said no.'. yeah lame, so I thought.

"Do you love him, Rose?"

"What's with this question? Of course I love him, I love him a lot." And this is the truth, but if I can't have him why suffering so much?

"Than why did you moved so fast to Adrian?" oh God, this girl can be dumb sometimes.

"I told you, I needed someone to heal me." I take my hand from hers now looking at her.

"Ohh Rose.."

"When he left he took a part of my heart. What hurts must is the fact that I know he is alive. When my parents died I knew that nothing could bring them back. But with him is different, I know he is alive, I know he is there somewhere but he can't be mine." I know she wants to help me but all I need is to forget and that's why I chose Adrian. He loves me and I know it's mean to play him like that but I know someday I'll love him the way he deserves to be.

"Rose, you fell for that man way to easy and hell, I could see the way he looked at you, he adores you. I can't understand what went wrong." I know that if we are not together right know is because of me, but ... yeah, I have no buts.

"Yeah, I feel safe when I'm in his arms and so happy." I smile after I said it. I miss so much those times when I was his and he was mine.

"Tell me about those times, when you were happy in his arms." She said trying to keep the smile on my face.

"It was perfect, like nothing that happens around us matter, like nothing bad can touch us. There was just us. Every kiss and every touch was different and unique in it's way. When I finally gave myself to him I felt like..."

"OMG Rose, you are not a virgin anymore?" she asks taking a hand to her moth to cover it.

"No." I say innocently.

"OMG, tell me about it." She says smiling, almost jumping like she lost her virginity, not me. Well, she have nothing to lose because she lost it last year.

"Lissa this is embarrassing, I can't tell."

"Why not? I don't need every detail, I just want to know how you left. Did you liked it?" I can't believe what she just asked.

"Liss, I'm not going to say anything, so stop." And than she hears the bell ring.

"I have to go, Rose, see you." She says walking away.

I watch as he fade into the view and I find myself smiling. It actually was good for me to talk about Dimitri. Maybe he will never be mine again but he will live forever in my heart. He will always be a part of me, he will always be my first love, my first about everything. And even if he is not here anymore he actually showed me how to love.

"Hey Rose." says Adrian, waking me up from my day dreaming.

"Hey" I reply.

"What are you doing here?" he asks looking at me.

"Nothing, just thinking." I answer. Yeah, so like this are my conversations with Adrian lately. It's like since we are together there is nothing to talk about.

"You are sad again." He says taking my hands in his.

"No Adrian, I'm not. I was just thinking about everything that happened to me lately and I realize that I regret nothing, that everything that happened to me was just to make me grow and learn that life is not as easy as we want it to be." I say smiling but not looking at him. "So no, Adrian, I'm not sad, at all." Well there is a little lie because I miss Dimitri so dangerously.

"I'm happy. You look beautiful when you smile." He says kissing the back of my hands.

"So what are you trying to say right now is that I'm not beautiful when I don't smile." I say, trying to make a joke.

"No, what I'm trying to say is that you look more beautiful than you are when you don't smile." Instead of answering him I take him in my arms. Maybe I don't love him the way he loves me but I love him, as one of my best friends, even if Lissa says that all he does is playing with me so he can get in my pants. I don't believe her, she doesn't know him the way I do. He has a pure soul, one that deserve's to be loved.

"Thank you for being here." I whisper into his ear.

"My pleasure, Love." We stay like this for some seconds until he pulls away. "Hey, can we study together tonight? You know, our final exams are here and than we are free. Finally." he asks looking at me.

"Yeah, one week left and high school is done." I say smiling.

"So, can we meet?"

"Umm, sure. Be at my place at 5PM." I say as I get up and make my way back to the school.

-x-

"Hey" Says Adrian as he walks into my room.

"Hey, you are here." I actually forgat for a second the we had to meet here to study.

"Yep, I'm here." And he takes a sit in bed next to me.

"So, where are your books?" I ask pushing myself closer to him, trying to act like a good girlfriend. "So what are we starting with, English or history?" I add.

"What about we start with some... kisses." He says taking my chin and lead my head close to his, resting his forehead to mine.

"Adrian, we are here to..."

"Hush love!" and he kisses me. I lose myself in his kisses and lie in bed with him above me. We start to kiss like hungry animals, more like he kisses me like an hungry animal and I do nothing but answer to his kisses.

"Stop!" I say whispering when he pulls away for a second to breath. Like he didn't heard me he start to kiss me again, now touching me. He slowly pulls up my t-shirt trying to take down my bra so he can touch my breast.

"Please stop." I beg this time but he again does not here me, or he does not want to hear me.

"Hush Rose!" He orders letting a bit of his weight on me. He kisses me even harder, now hurting me with his touches. Love isn't supposed to be like that, it is supposed to be slowly and lovely, like we want to be one. This is not what I want and this is not what Dimitri would have done to me. He would be gentle and lovely with me.

For a second I saw Dimitri's face in my head, he was in pain, in big pain. I open my eyes and push Adrian off of me. I can't do this and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it with anyone else.

"I said Stop, Adrian." I yell at him.

He looks at me, scared. I can see it in his eyes, he is scared that I will leave him and maybe this is the right thing to do.

"I'm sorry, Rose, really sorry. I don't know what was in my mind."he steps close to me but doesn't sit on the bed next to me.

"When I say stop it is stop." I say but not too loud. I don't want him to think that I will leave him.

"I know your not ready for this and I'm really sorry. I know you don't want to lose your virginity like this." He says now looking into my eyes.

"Thank you for understanding me." I say looking on the ground. I'm no virgin and I don't regret it. I gave it to the man I love and I will do it again without thinking twice.

"Do you forgive me?" he asks with hope in his eyes.

"Sure, now let's study... and this time really study." He smiles at my sentence and sit next to me.

And without wanting, that image with Dimitri come into my head. Why did I saw it? What is this supposed to mean? Is it real? Do we have some connection? Ohhh, so many questions and no answer. I don't even know if I'll ever see him again.

But again, why was he is pain? Without noticing I let fall a tear down my face. I wipe it quickly so Adrian doesn't see it.

Just breath Rose and forget about everything. It's your last week of school and you are free.

-x-

**Question: what do you think Dimitri did, choose to stay immortal or he choose to be human again, even if he can't have Rose anymore?**

**Thank you for your reviews and for your support.**

**Love you all and see ya next time.**

**Oh, another question: what do you think about Adrian? Do you think he really loves her or is just playing with her?**

**Paula **

**Oh, and by the way, the next chapter will be the last one. I have a big surprise for you all. Hope you won't hate me.**


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